New Moon Intentions vs New Years Resolutions

I am personally not a New Years resolution girl, but I am definitely a lover of new journals and
new beginnings. With patients, I have noticed that New Years resolutions often resemble a holiday full of sugar followed by a mad dash to get a gym membership on January 1st.  This is often followed by a few solid weeks of heavy exercise and diligence and then somewhere around February the motivation seems to decline.  The pattern is similar with any fad diet that promises lots of weight loss if you can cut out X,Y and Z.  Some of these diets work great for a moment, but unless it’s something you truly come to enjoy the likelihood of maintaining is improbable.  

The What the Hell Effect 

Once we’ve missed going to the gym a few times or indulged in a few extra chocolates over Valentines we may fall prey to the what the hell effect. The what the hell effect “describes the cycle you feel when you indulge, regret what you’ve done, and then go back for more. Your brain rationalizes your behavior by saying, “You already blew your goal of only having two cookies, so… what the hell, you might as well eat the entire pan.”

What is the antidote to the what the hell effect? According to researchers self compassion and self forgiveness help:

“In one study, researchers asked a group of women to eat a doughnut within four minutes, then drink a glass of water so they would feel full. After eating the doughnut, some of the women received a message of self-compassion encouraging them to not be so hard on themselves for indulging. The other group did not receive this message. In the second part of the study, the women were presented with bowls of candy and were invited to eat as little or as much of the candy as they wanted. The women who had received the self-forgiveness message ate only 28 grams of candy compared to the 70 grams consumed by the group that didn’t get the message.”

The 80/20 Rule 

A healthier attitude overall would be the 80/20 rule, where 80% of the time we are following the habits that are best for us and help us to feel most balanced and 20% of the time we are indulging.  What naturally happens over time is that we start to feel better and are more inclined to choose healthy indulgences because the desire to feel good trumps the physiological pull of the other.  To understand more about why cravings are physiological rather than a sign of your willpower it’s important to understand the dance of cortisol, insulin as it relates to your blood sugar.

Setting Intentions

Pausing to reflect on how you feel vs how you want to feel can be a powerful exercise.  With busy schedules, it’s easy to breeze through the days without ever stopping to check in.  Not only is this a wonderful exercise to consider where you are and where you want to be, it’s also a wonderful ritual for stress reduction and introspection.

Why is the New Moon a Good Time for Intention Setting?

As women we are cyclical and our monthly cycles and fertility are deeply connected to the different phases of the moon. The new moon is correlated with new beginnings and the planting seeds for what is to come. This makes it a fruitful time for setting intentions for what you would like to see blossom over the next phase.  Unlike New Year’s resolutions that happen once a year, using new moon intention setting allows us to make changes and adjust throughout the year.  By laying the foundation and continuously building tiny habits towards how we want to feel, it makes our goals feel achievable. 

Choosing Your Word for the Month or New Year 

So rather than setting the usual list of rigid goals for the new year- lose weight, exercise more, cut out sugar, gluten and so on, over the last few years I have been asking patients to choose a word that represents how they want to feel for the year ahead. There is no rigid rules: there can be more than one word and they can adjust the word as needed (even monthly!). I learned this practice from Danielle Laporte’s Desire Map and I have been using it ever since, not only to start a New Year but also to begin a New Cycle at each New Moon.

This past week, I have heard words like RENEWED, JOYFUL, “FOLLOW THROUGH”, REENGAGED, RESTED, NOURISHED, HEALED and LIGHT. What I love about this practice is that it allows you to walk through the day and ask yourself if the choices you are making are resonant with how you want to feel. Your word becomes a filter how you live your life. Healthy habits are comprised of small commitments made daily and each day is an opportunity to start anew.

Ritual for Setting Intentions at the New Year or New Moon: 

Personally, I like the ritual of starting anew each month and reflecting on what has worked well or not in the past.  It’s a constant turning over of a leaf and a new chance to let go of the past and decide to feel better.  This ritual can be done anywhere you can find a quiet space from the bathtub to your favorite meditation spot. There is no right way to set intentions but here is what I have found most enjoyable!

1. Light a candle
2. Put on some relaxing music
3. Visualize yourself in your favorite place, completely relaxed and at peace
4. Brainstorm a list of adjectives that describe how you feel
5. Choose one or two words (or more if you like)
6. Repeat as you need a refresh

I would love to hear your word for this new cycle and any other ritual ideas you use to start anew. Please share them in the comments below!